A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says: “Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”
With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife’s bottom. “Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!” The woman chose to ignore her husband.
Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
She answers: “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?”
On their way home after celebrating their 25th anniversary, she thanks him for a wonderful evening. “Oh. it’s not over yet”, says the husband.
Once in the house, he gives her a little black velvet box.
She opens it in anticipation, “But what are these two little pills?”
“Aspirin”, says he.
“But I don’t have a headache,” she says.
“Well, there you go, I told you the evening wasn’t over yet!”