Pastor and His Flock
A man was leaving church one day —
The Pastor was standing at the door (as he always is) to shake hands with members of the congregation.
He grasped the man by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”
The man replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”
Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and
He whispered back, “Shhhhhhhhh. I’m in the secret service.”
Preacher and Little Johnny
This preacher was looking for a good used lawnmower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning.
“This mower work, son?” the preacher asked.
Little Johnny said, “Sure does — just pull on the cord hard, though.”
The preacher took the mower home and when he got ready to mow he yanked and pulled and tugged on that cord. Nothing worked. It wouldn’t start.
Thinking he’d been swindled, he took the mower back to Little Johnny’s house.
“You said this would work if I pulled on the cord hard enough.”
“Well,” Johnny said, “you need to curse at it sometimes.”
The preacher was aghast. “I’ve not done that in years!”
“Just keep yanking on that cord, Preacher. It’ll come back to you.”