A long-time married couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact, “Marion … Marion.”
“Is that you, Bob?”
“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”
“That’s wonderful! What’s it like?”
“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex.
I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course … I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.
Then I have lunch (you’d be proud – lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon.
After supper, it’s back to golf course again. Then it’s more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep, and then the next day it starts all over again”
“Oh, Bob, you must be in Heaven!”
“Not exactly …. I’m a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona.”
November 20, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
entertainment, humor | humor, joke, kenneth bargers, lol fridayy |
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The Tennessee Vols are on a roll after stomping Memphis yesterday. I was disappointed to see another blown call by the SEC officials in the Alabama-LSU game. I am not a fan of either team but LSU got ripped off.
Let’s go TITANS and beat the 49′rs today to end my football weekend!
November 8, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
entertainment, football, tennessee | bad officials, college football, nfl, sec, Tennessee Titans, Tennessee Volunteers |
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Happy Halloween Everyone!
This is a night where young and old enjoy family, good friends, and neighbors. Wishing you fun and to be safe no matter your age.
October 31, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
entertainment | celebration, halloween, happy halloween, kenneth bargers, pumkin, safe |
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When did it happen that I found it necessary to have every television channel available? We live in challenging economic times and many of us search for ways to help relieve the financial burden. Could I do without my cable? For several months I would contemplate the value of cable television as I faithfully paid my monthly cable bill.
A few weeks ago I did an experiment to see if I could survive without this creature comfort and disconnected all the cable boxes in the house. Oh Lord, help me! I realized immediately that the issue was no longer financial but that I was addicted to television. How did this happen? I am a level headed and productive individual, or so I thought. Why was I having withdrawals and wanting to stare at the dark massive screen in the room?
The first three days were hell! I came home from work and immediately pulled out the DVD and VHS collection to watch as many movies as I could each night to pass the time. It didn’t matter what the movie was about – I craved entertainment. Then on the fourth day it started getting old. From that point forward I worked around the house, concentrated on my business more and emailed and phoned clients to keep in touch, enjoyed the deck and the pleasant weather we have been having, felt more relaxed and spoke with friends and family, and enjoyed my tennis leagues with a renewed competitive spirit.
I began to realize that without any focused effort my energy dispersed to various targets and life was becoming more productive and enjoyable. Oh sure, I missed flipping on the remote but did I miss the cable? Yes I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss it but in this case change was necessary and a good experiment.
The other day I wanted to watch a football game so I turned on my little portable television. I keep it in my home office on my desk and listened as I worked on a client’s listing. It dawned on me; I wonder if I could get reception on one of our televisions with this little antenna? I took the antenna and plugged it in to the back of one of the TV’s. Well, I’ll be damned! The reception was fine on the local channels and the ballgame looked better on the bigger screen.
A solution! A satisfactory alternative is now available to the cable bill. Yesterday, we made a trip to Best Buy and purchased three indoor digital antennas for our televisions. This is a very small investment for the compromise of dropping the cable completely. Tomorrow we will contact the cable company and give our 30-day notice to cancel.
I learned several lessons during this experiment. The most important is that changes in my daily routine were necessary to be more active in my day-to-day interactions. A challenge! – Now, can I continue to make progress and transition my television time to other activities? We will see…
October 11, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
dedication, entertainment, Inspiration | addiction, cable, digital antenna, economy, kenneth bargers, life style changes, televsion |
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There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was ‘Onestone’. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,’ If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!’
The word got around and nobody called him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, ‘Good morning, Onestone.’ He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion..
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until A woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird , who was Blue Bird’s cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, ‘Good to see you, Onestone.’
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn’t die!
Why ???
Everyone knows… You can’t kill Two Birds with OneStone!!!
October 9, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
entertainment, humor | humor, joke, kenneth bargers, lol friday |
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‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl’.
The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Joey Pagano?’
‘Yes, Father, it is.’
‘And who was the girl you were with?’
‘I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation’
Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?’
‘I cannot say.’
‘Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?’
‘I’ll never tell.’
‘Was it Nina Capelli?’
‘I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.’
‘Was it Cathy Piriano?’
‘My lips are sealed.’
‘Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?’
‘Please, Father, I cannot tell you.’
The priest sighs in frustration. ‘You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.’
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, ‘What’d you get?’
‘Four months vacation and five good leads!
October 8, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
entertainment, humor | humor, italian, joke, kenneth bargers |
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A long-time married couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact, “Marion … Marion.”
Is that you, Bob?
Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.
That’s wonderful! What’s it like?
Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex.
I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course … I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.
Then I have lunch (you’d be proud – lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon.
After supper, it’s back to golf course again. Then it’s more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep, and then the next day it starts all over again.
Oh, Bob, you must be in Heaven!
Not exactly …. I’m a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona.
September 19, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
entertainment, humor | humor, jokes, sex, sex humor |
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Watch It Now won the 2009 Tennessee Walking Horse World Grand Championships on Saturday night in front of a capacity crowd at the TWHNC grounds in Shelbyville, Tennessee.
September 8, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
entertainment, tennessee | champion, horse, shelbyville, tennessee, tennessee walking horse |
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The Dog
A guy walks in to a bar with his dog he puts the dog on the bar and says to the bartender, “This is the smartest dog in the world. I bet five dollars that you can ask him any thing and he will tell you the right answer.”
So the bartender said, “All right. What is 10+11+13.”
The dog said, “34.” Wow he got it right. So, he handed over the 5 dollar bill.
Then the guy said, “Don’t let my dog go anywhere I have to use the bathroom.”
So he hands the dog the 5 dollars to hold while he was in the bathroom. The bartender and the dog were having a conversation with each other so the bartender says, “If your so smart go down the road and get me a newspaper.” So the dog goes out the door then the guy comes out of the bathroom. He couldn’t see his dog so he asks the bartender where the dog was.
The bartender tells the guy, “The dog went to get me a newspaper.”
The guy throws a fit that the bartender let the dog leave. So the guy goes out to find his dog. He looked all over until he saw his dog in a alley making love to a poodle. The man says, What are you doing? You have never done this before.”
The dog says, “I have never had 5 dollars before either.”
The Frog
This guy walks into a bar with a frog on his head.
The bartender says, “Hey, what’s that?”
To which the frog replies “I don’t know. It started as a wart on my bum and this happened.”
The Pony
A pony walks into a bar and says “Bartender, may I have a drink?”
Bartender says “What? I can’t hear you. Speak up!”
“May I please have a drink?”
“What? You have to speak up!”
“Could I please have a drink?”
“Now listen, if you don’t speak up I will not serve you.”
“I’m sorry, I’m just a little hoarse.”
The Seal
A baby seal walks into a bar and sits down. “What can I get you?” asked the bartender.
“Anything but a Canadian Club” replied the seal.
September 4, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
entertainment, humor | humor, jokes, kenneth bargers, lol friday |
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