Kenneth Bargers Blog

LOL Friday … Dumb Bar Jokes

The Dog

A guy walks in to a bar with his dog he puts the dog on the bar and says to the bartender, “This is the smartest dog in the world. I bet five dollars that you can ask him any thing and he will tell you the right answer.”  

So the bartender said, “All right.  What is 10+11+13.” 

The dog said, “34.” Wow he got it right. So, he handed over the 5 dollar bill.

Then the guy said, “Don’t let my dog go anywhere I have to use the bathroom.” 

So he hands the dog the 5 dollars to hold while he was in the bathroom.  The bartender and the dog were having a conversation with each other so the bartender says,  “If your so smart go down the road and get me a newspaper.”  So the dog goes out the door then the guy comes out of the bathroom.  He couldn’t see his dog so he asks the bartender where the dog was.  

The bartender tells the guy,  “The dog went to get me a newspaper.” 

The guy throws a fit that the bartender let the dog leave.  So the guy goes out to find his dog.  He looked all over until he saw his dog in a alley making love to a poodle. The man says,  What are you doing?  You have never done this before.” 

The dog says,  “I have never had 5 dollars before either.”

The Frog

This guy walks into a bar with a frog on his head.

The bartender says, “Hey, what’s that?”

To which the frog replies “I don’t know. It started as a wart on my bum and this happened.”

The Pony

A pony walks into a bar and says “Bartender, may I have a drink?”

Bartender says “What? I can’t hear you. Speak up!”

“May I please have a drink?”

“What? You have to speak up!”

“Could I please have a drink?”

“Now listen, if you don’t speak up I will not serve you.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just a little hoarse.”

The Seal

A baby seal walks into a bar and sits down. “What can I get you?” asked the bartender.

“Anything but a Canadian Club” replied the seal.

September 4, 2009 - Posted by kbargers | entertainment, humor | humor, jokes, kenneth bargers, lol friday