The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.- Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
- If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
- Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
- A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
- How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
- Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
- Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
- Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.
- No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
- There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
- There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. – Like this: It could be a right number.
- No one ever says ‘It’s only a game.’ when their team is winning.
- I’ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
- Be careful reading the fine print. There’s no way you’re going to like it.
- The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
- Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies !
- Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
- After 60, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!
- Always be yourself. Because the people that matter, don’t mind. And the one’s that mind, don’t matter.
- Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
August 28, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
entertainment, humor, Inspiration | humor, jokes, kenneth bargers, life, lol friday |
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“There is no morality in the mushroom cloud. The black rain of nuclear ashes will fall alike in the just and the unjust. And then it will be too late to wish that we had done the real work of this atomic age — which is to seek a world that is neither red nor dead.” Senator Edward Kennedy
“The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives and the dreams shall never die.” Senator Edward Kennedy
“Frankly, I don’t mind not being president. I just mind that someone else is.” Senator Edward Kennedy
“Separation of church and state cannot mean an absolute separation between moral principles and political power.” Senator Edward Kennedy
“The Constitution does not just protect those whose views we share; it also protects those with whose views we disagree.” Senator Edward M. Kennedy
“Integrity is the lifeblood of democracy. Deceit is a poison in its veins.” Senator Edward M. Kennedy
August 26, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
Inspiration, quotes | leadership, quotes, senator kennedy |
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August 20, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
Brentwood, Nashville, open house, real estate, tennessee | Brentwood, fountainbrooke, kenneth bargers, Nashville, open house, prudential woodmont, tennessee |
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One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate…
He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?”
“We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. ”We have to eat grass.”
“Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you,” the lawyer said.
“But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.”
“Bring them along,” the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, “You come with us, also.”
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, “But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!”
“Bring them all, as well,” the lawyer answered..
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, “Sir, you are too kind.”
“Thank you for taking all of us with you.”
The lawyer replied, “Glad to do it.
“You’ll really love my place.
“The grass is almost a foot high .
Source: Active Rain; The Optimist Group.
August 16, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
entertainment, humor | humor, kenneth bargers, laughter, lawyer |
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PREGNANT BLONDE
The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy!
I didn’t know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, ‘what the heck’ and I starting jumping up and down along with her.
She said, “I have some really great news!”
I said, “Great. Tell me why you’re so happy.”
She stopped jumping and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant.
I knew she’d been trying for a while so I told her, “That’s great I couldn’t be happier for you!”
Then she said, “There’s more.”
I asked, “What do you mean there’s more?”
She said, “Well, we are not having just one baby.
We are going to have TWINS!”
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant,
I asked her how she knew. She said….
“Well, that was the easy part. I went to Sam’s Club and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a TWIN-pack. Both tests came out positive!”
BLONDE PUZZLE
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”
Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”
The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
“First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”
He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nicecup of tea, and then,” he said with a deep sigh. .. . … .. ..
“Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”
August 14, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
entertainment, humor | friday funnies, humor, jokes, kenneth bargers |
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HOME SALES TOP 2,000 FOR SECOND CONSECUTIVE MONTH
There were 2,214 home closings reported for the month of July, according to figures provided by the Greater Nashville Association of REALTORS®. This represents an 11 percent decrease from the 2,488 closings reported for the same period last year.
Year-to-date closings for the Greater Nashville area are 11,454. That is a decrease of 26 percent from the 15,485 closings reported through July 2008.
“There were more than 2,000 closings in July, which makes two consecutive months at that level. And, there are more than 2,000 sales pending for the third consecutive month, which creates a positive outlook for next month, as well,” said GNAR president Mike Nichols. “Clearly, sales continue to decrease, but it is encouraging to see the rate of that decline improve so dramatically since the beginning of the year.”
There were 2,147 sales pending at the end of July, compared with 2,394 pending sales at this time last year. The average number of days on the market for a single-family home was 87 days.
The median residential price for a single-family home during July was $171,100, and for a condominium it was $142,146. This compares with last year’s median residential and condominium prices of $179,995 and $162,900, respectively.
Inventory at the end of July was 24,592, down from 25,023 in July 2008.
“Value is one of the most significant terms for potential home buyers right now. There is a good amount of inventory available, though slightly less than last year. And, prices are lower than a year ago,” added Nichols. “It is important to be aware that interest rates have shown some upward trends recently and the $8,000 tax credit is scheduled to end soon. So, those who are considering the purchase of a home may want to consider acting before circumstances change and costs increase.”
Source: Greater Nashville Association of Realtors®; Press Release 081009
August 10, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
Nashville, real estate, relocation, tennessee | home sales, july 2009, kenneth bargers, Nashville, statistics, tennessee |
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I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately need to pass gas.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. – I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my I-Pod.
August 7, 2009
Posted by kbargers |
entertainment, humor, Inspiration | friday funnies, humor, kenneth bargers, maxine |
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